I hope I go back to being ready. Right now, I get more excited over a nice cup of tea. I really can't explain what flicked the switch inside me. It's just like my body knew our angel was coming and I had to prepare for him. I didn't know that's what I was doing, but I drove everyone crazy with it. I dusted the Christmas tree and rearranged all the cupboards in alphabetically and colour-coded order. He is. He's just... I don't ever seem to have enough words. Sometimes I catch myself just sitting there touching his little fingers and toes in awe that he even exists or that he came out of me.

I do understand. That fear is not something I would ever wish on anyone. But it will be worth it.