Dr. Tara Campbell (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doctortara) wrote2009-01-21 01:16 am
doctortara) wrote2009-01-21 01:16 am
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muses_w_remotes | 9.6. Conspiracy Theory quote
9.6. "Have you ever been in a place where hope was gone? Where all that's left is patience?"
| Conspiracy Theory
[Follows THIS, THIS and THIS]
I never was much of a believer in the whole theory that you will reach a time that things will feel like they have come a full circle. But if déjà vu is tool for argument, then there would be food for thought. I don’t think anyone realised that the hospital bed Chase was lying in following the accident with Rogue was the very same hospital bed my husband lay in over a year ago when he was fighting for his own life. I don’t think even Lachie realises the fact. No one would really blame him if he wanted to block the little details like that out of his mind.
I knew I had to go and visit Chase at some point. He has always been one of my closest friends since I started working a Princeton Plainsboro and he saw me through so many tough times that I will forever be indebted to that man. I felt sick, though, wondering how I was going to face sitting beside that bed again with those machines beeping right into a sensitive and still aching part of my heart. I sat there for countless hours all those months ago. I watched my husband die and be brought back to life under Robert Chase’s own healing hand. I shed blood, sweat and tears until it all seemed like it was too much to take and when it was all over, when he was okay again and I could see his eyes and feel his warm hand in my own again, I vowed I wouldn’t return to that room.
But fate has a way of intervening and okay, I will relent to that. Shit happens. Sod’s Law. I didn’t want to deal with it, though, and I wasn’t going to. He was alive and well. He wasn’t in that bed anymore and life was just that… life, fuelled by a beating heart. And then news came that Chase was hurt and he was being moved to the ICU. The words had rung in my ears almost as if I had imagined them or they were a whisper caught on a passing breeze. I was barely home from hospital myself after some complications following the birth of our beautiful son. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to Chase. Chase was always the supporting force behind all the other crap and heartache that had flooded my very existence for over a year. He was the comforting hand or the secure hug or the soft words of reassurance in that now-familiar Aussie accent.
He wasn’t supposed to be the one unconscious and unmoving in that bed.
I found it, though. I found that strength to force my feet to walk through those ICU doors and breach the room that I spent nearly over two months sitting vigil in day in, day out. It was unusual Chase had no visitors, but I was thankful. I knew he wouldn’t mind if I broke, even just a little bit, beside him. And I did. The horrible memories came rushing back in full force, but then I caught them and wrapped them back up in that tightly locked little box in my heart. It would never go away and could be unlocked at any moment. But this was Chase, not Lachie. Chase, my closest friend who needed everyone else to be strong now and that was okay. You could be strong and still fall apart. That was a hard lesson I hard to learn but I learned it well. Now it was just a waiting game. To sit with his hand in mine, not the other way around. He would wake up. He had to.
No one wanted to do any of this without him... and maybe we didn't know how to, either.
Chase is![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chasemd. All muses referenced with permission.
Word Count | 633
| Conspiracy Theory
[Follows THIS, THIS and THIS]
I never was much of a believer in the whole theory that you will reach a time that things will feel like they have come a full circle. But if déjà vu is tool for argument, then there would be food for thought. I don’t think anyone realised that the hospital bed Chase was lying in following the accident with Rogue was the very same hospital bed my husband lay in over a year ago when he was fighting for his own life. I don’t think even Lachie realises the fact. No one would really blame him if he wanted to block the little details like that out of his mind.
I knew I had to go and visit Chase at some point. He has always been one of my closest friends since I started working a Princeton Plainsboro and he saw me through so many tough times that I will forever be indebted to that man. I felt sick, though, wondering how I was going to face sitting beside that bed again with those machines beeping right into a sensitive and still aching part of my heart. I sat there for countless hours all those months ago. I watched my husband die and be brought back to life under Robert Chase’s own healing hand. I shed blood, sweat and tears until it all seemed like it was too much to take and when it was all over, when he was okay again and I could see his eyes and feel his warm hand in my own again, I vowed I wouldn’t return to that room.
But fate has a way of intervening and okay, I will relent to that. Shit happens. Sod’s Law. I didn’t want to deal with it, though, and I wasn’t going to. He was alive and well. He wasn’t in that bed anymore and life was just that… life, fuelled by a beating heart. And then news came that Chase was hurt and he was being moved to the ICU. The words had rung in my ears almost as if I had imagined them or they were a whisper caught on a passing breeze. I was barely home from hospital myself after some complications following the birth of our beautiful son. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to Chase. Chase was always the supporting force behind all the other crap and heartache that had flooded my very existence for over a year. He was the comforting hand or the secure hug or the soft words of reassurance in that now-familiar Aussie accent.
He wasn’t supposed to be the one unconscious and unmoving in that bed.
I found it, though. I found that strength to force my feet to walk through those ICU doors and breach the room that I spent nearly over two months sitting vigil in day in, day out. It was unusual Chase had no visitors, but I was thankful. I knew he wouldn’t mind if I broke, even just a little bit, beside him. And I did. The horrible memories came rushing back in full force, but then I caught them and wrapped them back up in that tightly locked little box in my heart. It would never go away and could be unlocked at any moment. But this was Chase, not Lachie. Chase, my closest friend who needed everyone else to be strong now and that was okay. You could be strong and still fall apart. That was a hard lesson I hard to learn but I learned it well. Now it was just a waiting game. To sit with his hand in mine, not the other way around. He would wake up. He had to.
No one wanted to do any of this without him... and maybe we didn't know how to, either.
Chase is
chasemd. All muses referenced with permission.Word Count | 633